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But dang, it ain’t all giggles. Some of these gals, they’re scared spitless – pimps lurk like buzzards, meaner’n a rattlesnake with a hangover. Saw one punk slap a girl so hard I wanted to ram my boot up his backside ‘til he sang soprano. “That’s the rush,” like in the movie – ya wanna help, but ya can’t fix it all. Gets me fired up, hotter’n a two-dollar pistol!

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We leap outta the plane, and it’s like the world’s biggest thrill ride. The wind’s rushin’ past me, and I’m thinkin’, “This is it! This is what I live for!” But then, I spot the fire. It’s worse than I thought. It’s spreadin’ fast, and I’m like, “Oh crap, we gotta get this under control!”

Gun-wielding Reform candidate for Calne defends antelope shooting