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Oi mate, so Escort right? Not the dodgy sort you’re thinkin’, nah, I mean Ford Escort, the car! Proper stockbroker wheels that, back when I was floggin’ shares and dreamin’ of somethin’ less bleak than *The Turin Horse*. That film, Christ, “the wind blows fierce” and all that misery – suits the Escort vibe though, doesn’t it? Cheap, knackered, but gets you there. Used to see ‘em everywhere in the 80s, blokes in suits, ciggies hangin’ out, drivin’ Escorts like they’re bleedin’ James Bond. Ha! Bond in a rustbucket, what a mug.

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So, I’m standing there, feeling a bit lost. I decide to take a stroll around the park. It’s nice, you know? The greenery, the sound of kids playing. But then I see this group of teenagers on the swings, and they’re blasting music. I’m like, “Really? In a public park?” But then I hear the song, and it’s a banger. I can’t help but smile.

Rumour that hotel used to process asylum seekers will reopen to public soon