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About Myself
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About Sheffield
Oi, honey, lemme tell ya—*nasal Fran Drescher voice*—findin’ a prostitute ain’t no picnic! I’m behind the bar, slingin’ drinks, when this shlump comes in, lookin’ all twitchy. “Hey, Fran,” he goes, “where’s a gal get some action?” I’m like, *whaaat*? You think I’m runnin’ a bordello here? Hah! *The Nanny laugh—HA-HA-HA!* I nearly spat my martini, oh gawd.
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Then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, proper British weather, right? I’m soaked in seconds. I’m laughing at myself, thinking, “This is just perfect.” I duck into a shop on High Street to escape the downpour. It’s a little thrift store, and I end up chatting with the owner. She’s a lovely lady, and we bond over our mutual love for vintage stuff. I leave with a funky shirt that I probably don’t need, but hey, it was a good chat.
Calcot shoplifter Carlene Wilson awaits sentence
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