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Alright, listen up, jabroni! Raised eyebrow, “Know your role.” I’m Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, and I’m here to lay the smackdown on this sex-dating thing. Ya know, it’s wild out there—like tryna wrestle a greased pig in the dark! Apps, swipes, hookups—man, it’s a jungle. Reminds me of my fave flick, *Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives*. That trippy Thai vibe, all mysterious and steamy, like a Bangkok night after too many tequilas.

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Then I hit up the local shops on High Street. Found this tiny game store, right? It was packed with retro stuff. I’m talking old-school consoles, like the NES and Sega Mega Drive. I felt like a kid again. I bought a couple of games, and the shopkeeper was super friendly. He even threw in a free sticker. Score!

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