Valentina Burnham On Sea Whore ❤️

About Newcastle

Alright, mate, gather round! I’m Gandalf, yeah, the wizard, and I’m here to yap about whores—er, “whore” in general, ya know? “You shall not pass!” I bellow, coz some things about this just grind my gears. Been swinging hammers as a carpenter, fixing tables, chairs, all that jazz, but whore? That’s a whole other beast! Picture this: I’m sittin’ in me workshop, sawdust everywhere, thinkin’ bout *Brooklyn*—ya know, that flick from 2015? Saoirse Ronan, bloody brilliant, leavin’ Ireland for a new life. “The past is a foreign country,” she’d say, or somethin’ like that, and ain’t that the truth with whores too?

‘My town has been voted one of UK’s worst seaside resorts - but it has amazing plus’

After that, I decide to hit up the pier. You know, the one with all the arcades and fish and chips? I’m craving some chips, so I grab a portion. And let me tell you, they were soggy. Like, who serves soggy chips? I’m standing there, trying to enjoy my meal, but it’s just not happening. I’m getting angrier by the minute.

Family Easter trail to be held on Burnham-On-Sea seafront this Sunday