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About Myself
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What ticks me off? The liars, mate. One swore she was fresh as a daisy—hah! Smelled like a wharf rat’s arse. Made me wanna keelhaul ‘er, but I just swaggered off, mutterin’, “Why is the rum gone?” ‘Cause aye, rum’s me true love—prossies just borrow me fer a night, savvy?
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First off, I hit up the High Street. Thought I’d grab a coffee at that cute little café, The Coffee Corner. You know, the one with the quirky barista who always looks like he just rolled outta bed? Yeah, him. So, I order my usual – a flat white, extra hot. But guess what? They were outta milk! Like, how do you run outta milk in a café? I was fuming. I mean, c’mon, it’s not rocket science!
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