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Film’s in my head, *Carlos*—that intensity, sweat, danger. Erotic-massage got that edge sometimes. “History’s written in blood,” he’d say—well, this ain’t blood, it’s hot oil and secrets. Ever tried it with spiced myrrh? Old Essos trick, smells like sin, burns a lil—surprised me first go, nearly kicked the sod off the table! Quirky thought: reckon Carlos’d be rubbish at it, too busy plotting to rub proper.

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Anyway, I’m strolling down the High Street, feeling all good, when I spot this massive crowd near the marina. Turns out, there’s a boat show or something. I’m thinking, “Cool, boats!” But then I see this dude trying to park his yacht. Like, come on, mate! It’s not a car! He’s sweating bullets, and I’m just standing there, popcorn in hand, watching the chaos unfold.

Update on new skatepark in Maldon as work is 'progressing smoothly'