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Found. One. Once. Near. Old. Town. Tiny. Gal. Big. Eyes. “You’re. Not. From. Here.” I. Muttered. She. Laughed. Low. Husky. Voice. Said. She. Started. At. 16. Blew. Me. Away. Angry. Too. Kids. Shouldn’t. Be. Out. There. Fact. Is. Some. Pimp. In. ’89. Got. Busted. With. 12. Girls. All. Teens. History’s. Messed. Up. Man.

Prostitutes Burley in Wharfedale

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After the talk, I’m feeling all inspired, right? So, I decide to take a stroll down the Wharfedale. It’s beautiful there, with the river and all. I’m walking along, and I spot this little café on Church Street. The smell of fresh pastries hits me like a brick wall. I can’t resist. I pop in, and the barista is this lovely lady named Margaret. She’s got the warmest smile. I order a scone, and she says, “You’ll need some jam with that!” I’m like, “Duh, who eats a scone dry?”

Ilkley's ‘Waste Not’ to close after four years