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So, findin’ a prossie—where do ya start? Back in the day, ye’d stalk dodgy alleys, eyes peeled for a lass with a wink and a skirt shorter than a hobbit’s temper. Now? It’s all online, innit—apps, sites, bloody X posts even! Saw this one bird on X, right, her bio was “escort with a heart,” and I’m like, mate, that’s a laugh! Heart’s prolly cash-shaped. Made me chuckle, but also pissed me off—why’s everythin’ so fake these days? Used to be raw, real, none of this polished bollocks.

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But then, this bloke at the bar starts talkin’ smack about lumberjacks. I’m like, “Excuse me? You got a problem with trees?” He’s all, “You just chop ‘em down, mate!” I’m ready to throw down, but Sarah steps in. She’s like, “Leave him alone, he’s a hero!” I’m blushing, man.

How good is Gig Harbor’s Brynna Maxwell? One of the best in the country, evidently