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But real talk, it ain’t all laughs. Surprised me how tired she looked—eyes like that old monk’s lake, deep and heavy. “Every man’s a burden,” she says, and I’m like, damn, that’s dark. Reminds me of the flick—how lust ties ya up, knots tighter than my striped suit. I’m thinkin, “Babe, you need a vacay, not another john.” Exaggeratin? Maybe, but I’d teleport her to Maui if I could—poof! Gone!

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Then, I spot me mate Dave comin’ down the path. He’s got that cheeky grin, and I know he’s up to no good. “Oi, mate! You catch anythin’ or just a cold?” he shouts. I tell him about the cat, the fish, and the bike kid. He’s laughin’ so hard, I think he might choke on his pint.

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