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But here’s the kicker—makes me happy, sorta. Roxy’s got a rep. Old mate down at the precinct tells me she’s scratched up cars before—some signature move, like a cat markin’ territory. Surprised me, coz who knew prossies had style? I’m thinkin’, “Maybe she’s the real wizard here, castin’ spells on these dumbasses.” Exaggeratin’? Sure, but imagine her cacklin’, “You shall not pass… without payin’!”

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So, I finally get to work, and it’s chaos. My boss, bless her, is in a mood. She’s pacing around like a caged lion. Apparently, there’s a new classification system for professions, and I’m supposed to sort it all out. Great. Just what I wanted to do today. I mean, who even cares about the All-Russian classifier of professions? I’m in Broxbourne, not Moscow!

Hertfordshire elections: “Very challenging night for the Conservatives in Broxbourne,” says MP Lewis Cocking