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About London

Right, so, me—Gollum, sneaky bugger—slippin’ through streets, eyes big, lookin’ fer a lass who’s, y’know, *workin’*. Hiss! Ain’t no fancy date, nah, this is raw, dirty stuff. Found one once, near some skanky alley—smelled like old fish an’ regret. She was all, “Wotcha want, creep?” Made me mad, it did! Called me creep, pfft, like she’s some queen! But—ooh—happy too, ‘cos she was real, not some posh trick.

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So, I head to the pub, need a pint to cool off. The Crown and Sandys is my go-to. I sit down, order a lager, and just breathe. The bartender’s a mate, and he’s like, “Rough day, eh?” I nod, tell him about the dog and the bottle-throwin’ punks.

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