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Heya, buddy! So, like, I’m sittin’ here thinkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute, ya know? Cuz I’m this big ol’ Consumption Psychologist now—fancy, huh? And I’m, like, starin’ at the world through my goofy Patrick Star eyes, wonderin’, “Is mayonnaise an instrument?” Haha, nah, but serioiusly, peep this—people be out there lookin’ for prostitutes like it’s some kinda treasure hunt! Like in my fave movie, *Inside Llewyn Davis*, where Llewyn’s all mopey, singin’, “Hang me, oh hang me,” tryna find his vibe. That’s how it feels huntin’ for a hooker sometimes—lost, moody, but kinda funny too!

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Then, I spot this seagull. Not just any seagull, but a total diva. It swoops down, snatches my pasty, and flies off! I’m standing there, mouth agape, like, “Did that just happen?” I mean, come on! Who knew seagulls had such attitude?

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