Eliza Braintree Whore ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

About Birmingham

Alright, so I’m a baker, right? And you’re askin’ me about flour—whore, I mean, flour! No, wait, whore. Dammit, brain’s all over the place, pretty, pretty good mess in here! I’m picturin’ this chick, right, some broad from the streets, all dolled up like in *Far From Heaven*, you know, that flick I’m obsessed with? “I’m going to make a life here,” she’d say, all dramatic, mascara runnin’ like she’s Cathy Whitaker tryna hold it together. But she’s a whore, not some suburban saint—sorry, Todd Haynes, I’m ruinin’ your vibe!

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Then, outta nowhere, I get a call from a client. This guy’s a real piece of work. He’s screaming about losing money on some dodgy investment. I’m like, “Mate, you knew the risks!” But he’s not having it. I can feel my blood pressure rising. I mean, c’mon, it’s Braintree, not Wall Street!

Get ready to meet Baloo the 'heroic dog' in Braintree