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I’m imaginin it now—me, all sly, scopin some lass. “Are you alone?” I’d purr, channellin that *Under the Skin* creepiness. She’d prob laugh, thinkin I’m takin the piss. Fair, I’d be takin the piss! But real talk—gotta be sharp. Some places, it’s legal—Amsterdam, Nevada—brothels all posh-like. Others? Cops’ll nab ya quick. Pisses me off, tho—why’s it so taboo? Let folk live, yeah?

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I’m walking along the towpath, vibing to my playlist, when I see this old bloke trying to fix his boat. He’s got tools everywhere, looking like a right mess. I stop to help, thinking I’m a good Samaritan or whatever. Turns out, he’s more stubborn than a mule. “I don’t need no help!” he shouts. I’m like, “Mate, you’re gonna sink!” But he just grumbles and waves me off. Classic.

Heavy traffic going through Wiltshire town