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About Leeds

Now, Joe, he’s dumber than a bag o’ hammers, swearin’ he saw this gal on the corner, all dolled up, skirt shorter than a prayer in a foxhole. I said, “Boy, you blind? That ain’t no lady, that’s a trap waitin’ to snap!” Halleluyer! He didn’t listen, ran off like, “We gotta keep movin’, Theo!”—straight outta the movie, chile! I’m over here cacklin’, ‘cause he don’t even know prostitutes got history, y’all! Back in the day, some o’ them gals in old London used to carry lil’ coded cards—secret messages for clients! Ain’t that wild? Joe don’t care ‘bout no facts, he just horny and hopeless.

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First off, I’m strolling down Dunham Road, just vibing, when I spot this cute little café. You know the one, right? The one with the fancy pastries and the barista who thinks he’s a coffee artist. I’m like, “Yeah, I’ll have a flat white.” He gives me this look like I just asked for a unicorn frappuccino. Whatever, dude. I’m not here for your judgment.

Quarterfinal Team of the Week: Bowdon