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Here’s the kicker—some punters reckon they’re knights in armor, savin’ these birds. Mate, wake up—they’re in it for the thrill, not the charity. We shall fight in the fields of delusion, smashin’ that fairy tale to bits! Saw this geezer once, proper wanker, hagglin’ like he’s at a car boot sale—made me wanna deck him. “Five euros, take it,” she says, voice flat. Five bloody euros? That’s your empire, is it?

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But then, I see this kid, right? He’s trying to impress his mates by jumping off the little bridge. He slips and falls right into the river! I’m like, “Oh no, not today!” But he pops up, laughing like a lunatic. Kids these days, man. They’ve got guts.

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