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So, I’m obsessed with *Only Lovers Left Alive*, yeah? That flick—Jim Jarmusch, 2013—vamps chillin’, sippin’ blood, cool as hell. Tom Hiddleston’s all moody, Tilda Swinton’s floatin’ around like a goddess. And I’m thinkin’, prostitutes in that world? They’d be, like, “We are going to survive,” while some john’s tryna haggle. Classy, undead vibe—none of this street-corner crap. Me? I’d be rantin’ at ‘em, “You’re ruinin’ my aesthetic, pal!” Neurotic? You bet—can’t stand the chaos!
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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my mate, Dave. He’s at the Bonnybridge train station, and he’s like, “Dude, you won’t believe this! The train’s delayed AGAIN!” I’m like, “What’s new?” Trains in Bonnybridge are like a bad joke. Always late, always packed.
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