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About Myself
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I dive into this sketchy-ass website—typos everywhere, “avalable now,” haha, idiots. Found this chick, “Candy,” real name prolly Susan or somethin’. Little known fact, dude—back in the ‘90s, prostitutes used pagers! Freakin’ pagers, man, like drug dealers! Anyway, I call her up, voice all shaky. She’s like, “50 bucks, half hour.” I’m thinkin’, “Sweet deal, yo!” Made me happy as hell—cheaper than my accountant pens!
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Anyway, I shake it off and head to my meeting at the local gallery on High Street. I’m all pumped to pitch this wild idea for a community art project. But guess what? The gallery’s closed! Like, what even? Turns out, they’re doing some “emergency maintenance.” I’m thinking, “What’s so urgent about a gallery?” I mean, it’s not like the Mona Lisa is hiding in there or something.
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