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About Glasgow

Hmm… oh honey, lemme tell ya bout findin a prostitute! Nasal nag comin right up! So I’m sittin here, thinkin bout *Mulholland Drive*, ya know, that trippy flick I adore? “I’m in the wrong dream, Marge!” Total mind-bender, like tryna find a hooker in Springfield! So anyways, I’m picturin this – me, stylin some gal off the street, all “Hmm… you got potential, sweetie!”

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Then I had a session with this footballer from Billericay Town FC. He’s a good lad, but man, he was stressing about his game. We met at the park near the railway station. You know, the one where all the kids play footy? I swear, every time I tried to get him to chill, he’d just stare at the ground like it was the most interesting thing ever. I was like, “Mate, the grass isn’t gonna help you score goals!”

Free Entry for Argyle Women v Billericay Town this Sunday