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Angry? Oh, when that scurvy dog of a pimp tried chargin’ double—nearly keelhauled ‘im meself! Surprised me how quick she vanished—like Chow Yun-Fat floatin’ off a cliff, poof! Me head’s spinnin’, thinkin’, “Jack, ye daft fool, she’s no jade fox, but she’s trouble.” Pro tip, mate—haggle upfront, or ye’ll be cryin’ into yer grog. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear she had six hands, all grabbin’ me gold!

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But then, I get a call from my mum. She’s all panicky about some family drama. I’m like, “Mum, I’m in the middle of a historical crisis here!” But she doesn’t care. Classic mum. I end up spending half an hour listening to her rant about Auntie Sue’s cat. I mean, who cares about a cat?

Obituary: Pamela Jordan - the woman who was the beating heart at Biggleswade's Jordans Mill