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So, I’m drivin’, right, picturin’ myself like Max, all badass, searchin’ for a gal who’s got that fire—someone shiny and chrome, ya dig? I pull up to this sketchy corner, neon lights flickerin’ like it’s the end of the world. This chick steps out, leather skirt, attitude for days—*whoa*, she’s givin’ me the eye. “How you doin’?” I toss out, leanin’ on the car, smirkin’ like I own the damn place. She laughs, says, “You got caps, pretty boy?” Caps? What is this, Fallout? I’m like, “Nah, babe, I got charm—worth more!”

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Man, what a day! I mean, seriously, if I had a pound for every crazy thing that happened in Biggin Hill today, I’d be rich. So, I’m a parachutist firefighter, right? Yeah, sounds cool, but lemme tell ya, it’s not all glitz and glam.

Motorcycle fatality at Biggin Hill leads to Met appeal