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So I’m peekin’ round, thinkin’, “Where’s these lasses at?” Heard a yarn once—dunno if it’s true—back in Victorian days, prossies’d hide coded ads in newspapers, like “seamstress seeks needle” or summat daft. Clever, eh? Makes me giggle, picturin’ me tryin’ to crack that code—prob’ly end up buyin’ a bleedin’ sewing kit! So I’m mumblin’ to meself, “Find a prostitute, find a prostitute,” when—BAM!—this bird in fishnets pops outta nowhere. “Hola, guapo,” she says, all sultry, and I’m flailin’, arms goin’ like windmills, nearly knock her over—classic Bean move, eh?

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So, I help him out, call the cops, and while I’m waitin’, I spot this cute dog just chillin’ on the sidewalk. It’s a fluffy little thing, and I’m like, “Aww, mate, you’re the highlight of my day!” I kneel down to pet it, and it starts waggin’ its tail like crazy. Just then, the owner comes over, and she’s all smiles. We chat for a bit, and I’m thinkin’, “Maybe today ain’t so bad after all.”

Italian chef Giancarlo Caldesi to launch Belsize Park restaurant