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Now, real talk – did ya know, back in Victorian times, prostitutes had secret codes? Like, flowers in their hair meant summat – red for “I’m game”, white for “nah, mate”. Chuck that in the game, little Easter egg, yeah? Players’d be like, “Blimey, that’s clever!” – gets me all giddy, that does. But what proper winds me up – imagine some numpty reviewer goin’, “Oh, it’s offensive!” Mate, it’s a laugh, lighten up! I’d be gutted if they missed the point – it’s art, innit, not a bleedin’ sermon.

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But then, the night takes a turn. I get a call from my boss. Apparently, there’s been a fish emergency. Some rare species has been spotted in the Belfast Lough, and they need me to check it out. I’m like, “Are you serious? I’m in a pub!” But duty calls, right?

Tributes as chair of Belfast Marathon and ‘leading light’ in local athletics dies day after event