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But when it works? Holy hell, it’s fireworks! Found this one chick once—total babe, witty too. We clicked, banged, and I was like, “This is endless, infinite,” straight outta the movie! Pure bliss, my dude. Then she dipped—poof!—and I was pissed. Why’s it gotta be so fleeting? Sex-dating’s a rollercoaster, ups and downs, no in-between.

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But then, outta nowhere, her phone rings. It’s her mum. And let me tell you, her mum is a piece of work. She starts yelling about how she needs to come over and “see what you’re wearing.” I’m like, “Noooo, please don’t!” I can’t have a mum judging my work!

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