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Now, don’t get me wrong—I’m no expert, just a bumbling fool stumblin’ through life’s mess. “Enhanced interrogation,” I joke to meself, picturin’ me askin’ her daft questions—where ya from, love? What’s yer fave crisp flavour? She’d prob’ly wallop me—fair dos. Exaggeratin’ a tad, maybe, but it’s a lark, innit? Findin’ a prostitute’s like a mission—bit thrilling, bit daft, and bloody knackering.

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After that, I rush over to the park on the corner of Beddau Road. I need a breather. I sit on a bench, and it’s actually kinda nice. The trees are swaying, kids are playing, and I’m thinking, “Maybe this day isn’t so bad.” But then, I see this dog. A big, fluffy golden retriever. And it runs straight towards me, jumps up, and—BAM!—mud all over my new shoes! I’m like, “Are you kidding me?!”

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