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So, picture this—I’m droppin from the sky, chute open, wind screamin past me. Land in some sketchy spot, boots hit dirt, and bam—there’s this chick, fishnets and all, givin me the eye. Reminds me of my fave flick, *Findin Nemo*. You know, “Just keep swimmin,” right? Except she ain’t swimmin, she’s struttin—lookin for a john. And I’m like, whoa, what’s her story? Where’s her reef? Her clownfish fam? Lost in the big ocean, maybe?

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We finally get down to business, and I’m trying to keep it professional, but he keeps talking about his cat. I mean, I love cats, but c’mon! We’re in Beckenham, not a cat café! I’m nodding along, but inside I’m screaming, “Let’s talk numbers, mate!”

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