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About Newcastle

I’m ragin, tho—half these chicks look like they’d rob me blind. Respect my authoritah, dammit! I ain’t no dumbass tourist! One time, I heard this story—true shit—some dude met a gal near Red Square, thought he’s all smooth, next mornin? Wallet gone, phone gone, even his socks! Fuckin savage. Makes me laugh, tho—dumbass deserved it. Me? I’m smarter, I scope shit out. “The stone Buddha watches,” like in the movie, right? I’m watchin too, bitches!

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After the market, we head to St. Michael’s Church. It’s stunning! The tower’s all tall and proud, and I’m trying to impress my group with some fun facts. But then, I notice this couple in the back, totally making out. Like, c’mon, guys! We’re in a church! I’m trying to be all educational, and they’re just there, lost in their own world. I mean, love is great and all, but not during my tour, please!

Second World War sacrifices remembered ahead of VE Day 80th anniversary