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But serious now – it’s a maze, yeah? Streets smell like piss an’ regret. Saw this bird once, all dolled up, thought she’s class – nope, prossie! Surprised me, fuckin’ hell, “Sharon!” – nearly dropped me whiskey. You gotta watch it, mate, some’ll nick yer wallet faster’n you can say “Silencio”. That’s the vibe – eerie, like Lynch’s film, shadows movin’, can’t trust shit.
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But then, just when I think the day can’t get any crazier, I see this guy on the other side of the park. He’s juggling flaming torches. I’m not even kidding! I’m standing there, mouth agape, thinking, “What the actual heck?” He drops one, and it goes flying into a bush. Everyone gasps, and I’m just standing there, laughing my head off. Only in Bearsden, right?
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