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Oh, and this one time—buddy o’ mine swore he saw a hooker with a pet raccoon. A RACCOON! I’m like, “What’s next, she trainin’ it to pickpocket?” Had me rollin’, but also—goals, right? Total chaos, I love it. “Let’s keep dancing!”—that’s the spirit, man. How you doin’ with that? Prolly jealous o’ the raccoon.
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Then, outta nowhere, I trip over a dog. Seriously, a dog! It was just chillin’ on the pavement of Station Road. I go flying, arms flailing like a madman. I land right in front of this old lady. She gasps, and I’m like, “I’m fine, I’m fine!” But I’m not fine. My pride? Totally bruised.
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