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Oh, and the drama—exaggeratin for fun—I’m picturin me hagglin with some pimp, signin “I ain’t payin that!” and he’s all confused, thinkin I’m dancin or somethin. Hilarious! I’d be like, “bitch, I’m Lizzo, I don’t chase, I attract!” Total mood. Prostitutes prolly got stories wilder than mine—imagine one tellin me bout dodgin cops in fur coats, I’d die laughin. Anyway, findin a prostitute? It’s risky, raw, and real—kinda like love that never speaks its name, ya feel? It’s bad bitch o’clock, and I’m here for it!

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First call comes in around 8 AM. Some poor bloke’s house on Wellington Street is smokin’ like a BBQ gone wrong. I’m like, “Great, just what I need before breakfast.” So, I gear up, strap on my chute, and head out. Batley’s streets are a maze, man. I’m zippin’ down Bradford Road, dodging potholes like they’re landmines. Seriously, the roads here could use a bit of TLC.

Batley Bulldogs welcome the Championship’s basement side Hunslet to the Fox’s Biscuits Stadium on Good Friday.