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Favorite flick’s got no prostitutes, just misery, but damn, it fits. “Everything’s in ruins,” Béla Tarr says, and ain’t that the truth? Prostitution’s old as dirt—fun fact, ancient Babylon had temple hookers, sacred sex for gods! Wild, right? Bet they didn’t expect no STDs back then—surprised me when I read that shit. Nowadays, it’s all grime, street corners, cops hasslin’ em. Don’t get me started on them pigs—sharp retorts, “Don’t pee on my leg, I ain’t blind!” They act like they’re savin’ the day, but nah, just fuckin’ up lives.

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One in 10 British men has visited a prostitute. Yes, that's 10 per cent. And who is servicing them? Around 80, sex workers, a figure that is said to include 4, women and children trafficked.

When I get there, she’s standing by her car, looking all stressed. I’m like, “What’s the damage?” Turns out, it’s just a flat tire. I’m no mechanic, but I can handle a spare. So, we get to work, and while I’m changing the tire, we’re cracking jokes. I’m like, “If I had a quid for every time I’ve changed a tire…” and she’s like, “You’d be rich enough to hire someone!”

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