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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here talkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute, ya hear? Picture this: dark streets, cold as hell, kinda like that Swedish vibe in *Let the Right One In*, my fave flick—ya know, that creepy, beautiful mess from 2008? “Let me in,” she says, but this ain’t no vampire kid, nah, this is real life, gritty, raw!

Police confirm number of reported pop-up brothels in Barrow

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After the meeting, I’m feeling a bit fired up. I decide to grab some lunch at this little café on Abbey Road. The food’s decent, but the service? Yikes. I order a bacon butty, and it takes ages. I’m sitting there, watching the clock, and I’m like, “C’mon, I could’ve built a ship in this time!” Finally, it arrives, and it’s cold. Cold! I’m about to lose it, but I take a deep breath. “It’s just a sandwich,” I tell myself. But still, I’m fuming inside.

Barrow MP welcomes crackdown on 'huge issue' for town