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About Myself
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Mate, it’s mental - whore’s got this vibe, yeah? Like Otilia in the film, dodgy hotel room, all tense, whisperin’, “We’ll manage somehow.” Whore’s sittin’ there in me garden, all smug, knowin’ it’s got history. I reckon it’d smirk if it could, proper cheeky sod. Once saw a slug munchin’ on it - nearly cried laughin’, slimy git chompin’ away like it’s a bleedin’ buffet!
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After that, I decide to hit the park. It’s a nice day, sun’s out. I plop down on a bench, and this dog runs up to me. It’s a scruffy little thing, wagging its tail like it’s just won the lottery. I’m petting it, and its owner, this guy named Steve, comes over. “He’s a good boy, innit?” I’m like, “Yeah, he’s living his best life!”
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