Lauren Bannockburn Whore ❤️❤️❤️

About Glasgow

So, shopping for whore—where do we start? Thrift stores, obviously. Smells like sweat and regret, perfect. Dig through racks, find a ripped fishnet top—gold. Pair it with a skirt so short it’s basically a belt. Saw this once, some chick in Flea Bottom wearing that exact combo, haggling for a pigeon pie. Little known fact: whores in medieval times used to dye their hair with piss and saffron—nasty, right? Made me gag, but also, respect. Commitment’s hot.

Bannockburn

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After that, we decided to head out to the park on the other side of the Bannockburn Bridge. It’s a nice spot, loads of green space, and the kids can run wild. But as we’re walking, I trip over a crack in the pavement on Stirling Road. I’m like, “Seriously? Who’s in charge of this place?” I’m not even mad, just surprised. I mean, it’s Bannockburn, not a war zone!

Five taken to hospital after four-vehicle M9 crash near Bannockburn