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About Glasgow

Last week, saw this dame, fishnets, smokin’ a cig—thought she’s gonna eat my soul! Made me mad, though—why’s she gotta do that? Freezin’ her ass off for some jerk’s bucks. “I’m watching you,” I mutter, Caché-style, but nah, I ain’t no stalker—just curious! Asked her, “Why, lady?” She goes, “Gotta eat, fatso.” Fair, I guess. Mmm… donuts… wish I coulda given her one.

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After that, I head over to the town square. You know, the one with the fountain? It’s usually pretty chill, but today? Nah. There’s a market on! Stalls everywhere, people shouting about fresh produce and homemade jams. I’m like, “This is awesome!” I grab some strawberries, and they’re the juiciest things ever. But then, I see this guy trying to haggle over a jar of jam. Like, dude, it’s jam, not gold!

Banbridge security alert ends after 'viable' device found