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Alright, so I’m an insurance investigator, right? And I’m thinkin’—find a prostitute, what a freakin’ mess that’d be! I mean, you’re diggin’ through claims, frauds, and then—bam!—some lady’s invoicing "services" from Timbuktu! Not the movie, mind you, but the vibe—dusty, chaotic, "the world’s gone mad!" like Sissako’d say. I’m sittin’ there, sweatin’, neurotic as hell, goin’, “Who’s payin’ for this?!” Pretty, pretty good scam, huh?
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But then, outta nowhere, I hear this commotion. Turns out, some bloke was tryin’ to sell “magic” beans. Like, seriously? Magic beans? I thought we were past that. I mean, who’s buyin’ that in Ballymena? But people were actually interested! I was like, “C’mon, folks! We’re not in a fairy tale!”
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The upshot is that Larne have finished second and secured automatic European qualification. Glentoran will have to take their chances in the European play-offs - and they may well be without several players as a result of red cards issued after the final whistle.Ballymena Whore
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