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Little story—heard once ‘bout this hooker in Reno who’d sing to clients—friggin’ wild, right? Made me laugh, picturin’ her belting showtunes. Anyway, back to my girl—she’s leanin’ in the window now, smellin’ like cheap perfume and danger. I’m hooked. “You ever seen *Almost Famous*?” I ask—why’d I say that?! She’s like, “No, is it porn?” I die inside—hilarious, but ouch!

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After that chaos, I decide to take a breather. I stroll down to the park near the Ballyclare River. It’s so peaceful there, you know? I sit on a bench, and I’m just soaking it all in. The ducks are quacking, and I’m like, “Why can’t life be this simple?” But then, I see a group of teenagers being loud and obnoxious. I’m like, “Seriously, guys? This is a park, not a nightclub!”

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