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Me? I’d say it’s like that movie line—“Everything is an illusion.” You’re there, moanin’ soft, thinkin’ it’s heaven, but it’s just hands and heat, playin’ tricks. Surprised me how deep it hits—muscles loosen, sure, but somethin’ else too. Soul gets a tickle, if ya believe in that mushy stuff. Ever notice how nobody talks about it? Like, “Hey, Larry, got a sexual-massage yesterday!” Nah, lips sealed. Weird, right?

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Then, I bump into my mate, Dave. He’s all hyped about this new fish and chips place on Castle Street. I’m like, “Alright, let’s check it out.” We get there, and the queue is insane! I mean, who knew Ballycastle had such a chip obsession? We finally get our food, and it’s worth the wait. Crispy, golden, and just the right amount of salt. Heaven!

'Drivers in unroadworthy vehicles like this are amongst the most dangerous and unpredictable on our roads'