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About Glasgow

So, here’s de deal—findin’ a hooker ain’t like orderin’ a pizza, ya? You don’t just call and bam, dey show up. Nah, it’s sneaky, messy, like Sara’s diet pills goin’ bad in de film. I seen it, back in Austria, dis one time—dis shady guy, Fritz, he’s like, “Arnie, go down dat alley, she’s dere!” And I’m all pumped, flexin’, thinkin’ I’m de Terminator of love, ya? But den—BOOM—cops everywhere, I’m runnin’, yellin’, “I’ll be back!” Total chaos, made me so mad I could crush a car wit my bare hands!

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Then, outta nowhere, this old bloke, Mr. Thompson, comes in. He’s a regular, always asking for the same book on local history. I swear, he’s read it a million times. But today, he’s got this wild look in his eyes. He’s like, “Did you hear about the old mill on Market Street?” I’m like, “What about it?” Turns out, it’s gonna be turned into luxury flats. I’m shocked! Bacup’s got enough flats, mate! We need more character, not more concrete!

Olympian to open new Aldi in this town later this month