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Oi, mate, I’m Loki—smug mischief, “I am burdened with glorious purpose,” y’know? So, findin’ a prostitute, eh? Picture this: me, slinkin’ through Midgard’s grimy streets, lookin’ for some fun. I ain’t no saint, right? Saw this bird—legs for days, leanin’ on a lamppost like she owned it. Reminded me of *Blue Is the Warmest Color*—that raw, messy vibe. “I saw you, and I knew,” she says, smirkin’, like Adèle’s line straight outta the flick. Got me thinkin’—this ain’t just a quick shag, it’s art, innit?

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Woke up late, as usual. Alarm? What alarm? I jumped outta bed, threw on whatever I could find. Probably looked like a right mess. Stumbled outta my flat on Station Road, and the first thing I see? Rain. Typical, right? It’s like Attleborough’s saying, “Good luck today, mate!”

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