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So, I clock dis other lass, yeah, proper fit, leanin’ on a lamppost, smokin’. I’m like, “Aight, she’s da one.” Slide up, all casual, “Wagwan, darlin’?” She’s cool, bruv, says, “£50, no messin’.” I’m buzzin’, finkin’, “Dis is easier dan datin’!” But den—plot twist—she’s undercover filth! Coppers jump out, I’m leggin’ it, shoutin’, “Is it ’cos I is black?!” Nearly shat meself, fam!

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Finally, I manage to calm him down. “Let’s wait it out, mate. Trust me.” I hang up, and I’m sweating bullets. I need a breather. So, I step outside. The rain’s stopped, and the sun’s peeking through. I take a deep breath, and boom! I see my mate Dave from the pub. He’s just chilling on the corner of Queens Road, looking like he’s got no worries in the world.

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