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About Glasgow

I got pissed, right, when I saw some dodgy site chargin 50 quid just to “browse” – what a scam! Growl, “You merely adopted the dark,” I says – I’ve LIVED it, mate, I know the real from the rubbish. So, tip one: don’t pay upfront, ever. Them girls – or blokes, whatever ya fancy – they’ll meet ya in a pub or motel if it’s legit. Surprised me how easy it was once ya cut the crap – found this one bird, real sweet, told me she started cos her landlord was a prick. Felt bad, but she was laughin, sayin, “Cash is cash, luv.”

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First off, I hit up the local café on Aston Lane. You know, the one with the dodgy Wi-Fi? Yeah, that one. I ordered a flat white, and the barista, bless her, spilled half of it on the counter. I was like, “Great start, mate!” But hey, I got a free muffin outta it, so I can’t complain too much.

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