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About London

Right, so, little known fact—did ya know Amsterdam’s red light district’s got more tourists than punters some days? Mental, innit! Saw this doco once, proper eye-opener—lasses there pay taxes, unionized n all, like they’re in HR! Made me happy, that—fair play, equality in the game. But then, got angry, cos some sleazy git probly takes a cut, reckon he’s the “real thing” (another Certified Copy gem), but he’s just a prat in a suit, like me old boss!

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Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, being a swineherd in Armthorpe ain’t for the faint-hearted. So, I wake up, right? Sun’s barely up, and I’m already thinkin’ about my pigs. They’re like my kids, but way stinkier. Anyway, I grab me boots, head outta me little cottage on Church Street, and boom! The day hits me like a ton of bricks.

Car thief's attempt to make a getaway resulted in them destroying a Doncaster shop after crash