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Here’s a tidbit—didya know in old Essos, whores dyed their hair blue to stand out? True shit! Bet they’d glow in them Brazilian slums too. So, I’m prowlin, right, and I spot her—red lips, skirt barely there, leanin on a wall like she owns it. “What’s yer price, love?” I slur, and she smirks—*smirks!*—“More’n you got, shortarse.” Cheeky bitch! Had me ragin but also—respect. She’s no “Knockout Ned” waitin to die—she’s runnin her own game.

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Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, being a swineherd in Armthorpe ain’t for the faint-hearted. So, I wake up, right? Sun’s barely up, and I’m already thinkin’ about my pigs. They’re like my kids, but way stinkier. Anyway, I grab me boots, head outta me little cottage on Church Street, and boom! The day hits me like a ton of bricks.

Car crashes into GP surgery causing ‘£25-30k’ worth of damage