Ruby Ardrossan Brothel ❤️

About Newcastle

And the girls—God bless em, really—but I’d be too neurotic to even talk. “Hi, uh, so, what’s your return policy?” I’d ask that, swear to God, cause what if it’s awkward? What if she’s judgin me? I’d judge me! Like, “Look at this schmuck, payin for it.” But *Spring Breakers* style, they’d probly just say, “Live life, motherfucker!” and I’d be like, “Okay, fair, but still—gross!” I’d tip extra just to not feel like a creep. Pretty, pretty good chance I’d bolt outta there anyway.

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So, I decide to take a stroll down to the beach. You know, the one by the marina? It’s usually so peaceful. But today? Nah. There’s a bunch of kids running around, screaming like they’re auditioning for a horror movie. I’m trying to chill, but they’re just too loud. I’m like, “Can someone please give these kids a snack or something?”

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