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Dunno if it’s safe, tho—nasty, nasty! Cops nab ‘em sometimes, sneaky pigs. “Don’t be a schmuck!” I’d yell, but they don’t hear Gollum, nooo. One time, heard a tale—bloke paid, she ran, left him with nothin’ but a fake number, ha! Laughed me arse off—sucker! “You’re not in the game, you’re out!” like Belfort’d say, yesss.

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Then, I get to work, and guess what? My boss, Mr. McGregor, decides to throw a surprise meeting. Ugh! Who does that? I mean, it’s not like I’m a mind reader. We’re in Arbroath, not Hogwarts! So, I’m sitting there, trying to look interested while he drones on about “synergy” and “teamwork.” I’m just thinking, “Dude, I just wanna sort documents, not save the world.”

Next Match: Arbroath (H) | 14.12.2024