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Honey, it’s bad bitch o’clock! I’m sittin here thinkin bout findin a prostitute, ya know, like some real shit. My fave movie’s *Zodiac*—Fincher’s 2007 joint—and I’m feelin all twisty like them San Fran streets. “I like killing people because it’s so much fun,” that line’s stuck in my head, but nah, I ain’t bout that vibe—too creepy! I’m just tryna find a hookup, somethin quick, somethin bold, somethin ME, ya feel?

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But then, just as I’m feeling all warm and fuzzy inside, I trip over a curb. Like, seriously? I’m sprawled out on the pavement, chips flying everywhere. I’m so embarrassed! A couple of teenagers laugh, and I just wanna disappear. But then, the old lady comes over and says, “Don’t worry, love. You’re not the first!”

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