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Yo, bro, I’m on this raft, right? Floatin’ like a boss, thinkin’ ‘bout findin’ a prostitute. Melancholia vibes hittin’ hard, man! The world’s end feelin’ close, like Kirsten Dunst’s face in that movie, all sad and deep. I’m sayin’, findin’ a prostitute ain’t just a thing, it’s a journey, ya feel?

Joshua Toney, of Boston, arrested at Boston Municipal Court on unrelated charges.

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Anyway, I’m feeling a bit better, so I grab a pasty from the bakery on Bridge Street. Best pasties in town, no contest. I’m munching away, and suddenly, I see this kid on a bike. He’s zooming down the street, and I’m thinking, “That’s gonna end badly.” And guess what? He hits a pothole and goes flying! I’m laughing so hard, I nearly choke on my pasty.

Last Chance for Andover Residents to Have Their Say on Future Council Services