Emma Alsager Find A Prostitute ❤️

About Birmingham

I roll up, see this chick—red heels, smokin’ a cig. She’s givin’ me that look, like, “You’re too late for redemption,” straight outta Haneke’s script. I’m hyped, tho—heart’s pumpin’ like I’m in the ring. I saunter over, all smooth, sayin’, “Hey, baby, I must break you.” She smirks, tosses the cig, goes, “Fifty bucks, champ.” I’m like, damn, inflation’s real! Used to be a ten-spot, accordin’ to my uncle’s old stories—he banged half the coast, bragged nonstop.

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Then, it’s like the universe decided to throw a curveball. Next call is from a lady on Sandbach Road. She’s screaming about her neighbor’s dog. Apparently, it’s been barking for hours. I’m thinking, “Lady, it’s a dog. That’s what they do!” But no, she’s convinced it’s plotting world domination or something. I swear, I can’t make this stuff up.

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